Q: Isn’t Bitcoin a scam developed by the Illuminati to steal my IP address?
A: Bitcoin was developed and released by someone named Satoshi Nakamoto in 2009. Whether Nakamoto is a member of the Illuminati is still up for debate, but I just stole your IP address.
Q: How heavy is the blockchain?
A: Bitcoin blocks can each weigh up to one Megabyte‚ and Bitcoin’s blockchain currently weighs over 185 Gigabytes.
Q: How are Bitcoins kept safe?
Q: Why would I use cryptocurrency when I can just use Venmo?
A: It really depends on what you’re looking for. If you trust Venmo, and all your friends use Venmo, using Venmo is fine. On the other hand, some cryptocurrencies have developed decentralized privacy solutions impossible for a centralized entity like Venmo to implement. For example, Monero and Zcash support fully private transactions that hide the sender, receiver, value, and more properties of the transactions. Do you really want your parents to see ads for things you buy with Venmo?
Q: Where are the Bitcoin mines located?
A: Typically in people’s basements. Or dorm rooms.
Q: Is Bitcoin fully private and anonymous?
A: No. The entire Bitcoin blockchain is public, and your Bitcoin address can be used to track your Bitcoin activity should it become linked to you, which, as it turns out, is not as difficult as you might think.
Q: Aren’t Bitcoins essentially worthless?
A: Yes. Thousands of dollars are worthless to some people.
Q: Aren’t cryptocurrencies bad for the environment?
A: Possibly. There is evidence that too much cryptocurrency can create toxic environments of hodling and shilling.
Q: How do people make money trading cryptocurrency?
A: Buy high, sell low. At least, that’s what I’ve been doing. So far it’s not working though. Not sure why.
Q: When will Bitcoin be worth $100k?
A: Soon. Or never.
Q: Can I run a full node at my house?
A: You need a computer to run a full node, so make sure to drop hints to your family that you need a new computer. Could help your chances this holiday season.
Q: Is sending a small (~$5) Bitcoin payment to a friend or family member useful to get them involved?
A: Probably, but we’re not going to cover the costs.
Q: How can I buy cryptocurrencies?
A: Most people buy them on Coinbase or Circle Invest. Or you can take your chances with this new North Korean exchange that will totally not steal your money, promise. I have a referral code somewhere…
Q: Can I buy a fraction of a Bitcoin?
A: Only if you convince the exchange that you’re worthy. Tell them you need to get hooked up with “satoshis.” They’ll know you’re a serious investor and help you right away.